When Purple Monkeys Attack
by Kiheada.Ray.T
Summary: An extremely random fic about what would happen if I met the Gundam Seed gang during the first war, normal pairings,...maybe...R&R please! Complete!
1. Chapter 1 of Randomness

**When Purple Monkeys Attack!**

**Chapter 1 of RANDOMNESS!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from GSD, but I do own my randomness and myself, eh heh, any songs I might sing I probably do not own either…..meh…..**

HI! My name's Niki and I'm extremely HYPER! So I'm sitting here minding my own business reading a fanfic when all of a sudden a Swirly Black Hole of DOOM appears next to me, naturally, I'm like, "Wtf?" but then I find myself being drawn towards the Swirly Black Hole of DOOM and then POOF! I'm sucked right in.

As I am traveling through the nothingness of the Swirly Black Hole of DOOM I start to wonder where the freak I'm going. Then it hits me, literally, a candlestick hits me upside the head and I become very dizzy and faint.

When I wake up I see unbelievably familiar faces staring into mine. "What...the...freak?" I ask and sit up. "Are you ok?" a soft yet firm voice asks me and I recognize it as Athrun's. _Athrun's? But he's an anime character! Where the freak am I? _I think to myself. "Uh, hello, are you ok?" he asked again. I shake my head, "Um, I think so, but I'm extremely confused at the moment, where the freak am I?" I ask bluntly.

"Uh, aboard _Versailius_, Zaft's ship." Athrun says. (1)

I look at him, and then I look at the other faces, _Athrun, Dearka, Nicol, and Yzak _and I realize that the Swirly Black Hole of Doom must have transported me to the anime show: Gundam Seed. So naturally, I start to freak out. "WHAT THE FREAK! HOW DID I GET HERE? AM I DREAMING?" I scream. The boys flinch at my screaming and Yzak says, "Will you shut-up! That's what we were trying to figure out when this black hole appeared and you fell out on Athrun!" "Oh, I'm sorry Athrun." I say and look straight at the Blue-haired cutie _Wow, he's hotter in real life and up-close _I think and realize I was staring and look away after a, "Eh heh,".

"It's ok, but, how did you know I was Athrun?" he asks. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you." I say after a pause. "Well, let's help her up, guys; I'm sure she doesn't want to stay on the floor all day." Nicol said and the guys help me up. "Thank you, wow, I can't believe I'm actually here!" I squeal in excitement.

"Um, ok then, let's take her to Le Krueze (sp?), I'm sure he'll want to know about our, uh, 'visitor'," Dearka says and the guys take me to Rau Le Krueze's office and I gulp thinking _Oh snap, I have to see, _him_, I'ma(2) die, yep, I'm soooooo gonna die! _

"Uh, sir, we have a, uh, 'visitor'." Athrun said as he entered Krueze's office. Rau raised his eyebrows in question (not that you could tell) and said, "Is that so, who is she and how did she get aboard the ship?" The boys looked at each other in question, wondering what to say about the mysterious person who fell out of a black hole on Athrun.

"Well, sir, you probably wouldn't believe us if we told you." Dearka said. "But if you really wanna know, she fell out of a black hole on top of Athrun." Yzak (obviously) said, smirking at Athrun. Rau looked like he was glaring at them. "Uh huh? Would you like to tell me what REALLY happened now that you're done playing around?" he asked coldly. "Uh, that is what happened, see, I was sitting at my computer reading a fanfic when a Swirly Black Hole of Doom appears out of no-where and I get sucked into it, then a candlestick hit me upside my head and I fainted and I woke up and, here I was." I told him.

He looked like he still didn't believe us, and said, "Do you know how ridiculously stupid that sounds?" he asked. "Yep, but it's true, I believe the words for it would be 'Supernova phenomena'" I say with my smart-aleck mouth. He twitched. "I see, through her in the brig and interrogate her, find out who she works for and how she got here and what she plans on doing here." He told the soldiers and they saluted and dragged me to the "brig".

"Is he really that freakish all the time?" I ask them. "Yeah, he's freaky alright." Dearka said and Yzak snorted. We arrived at the brig and they put me in my cell and Yzak pulled up some chairs and the boys sat down. And then we just stared at each other for a second or two. I would've started whistling but sadly I don't know how so I just started humming a random song and looking around.

"Ok, so, who are you? What's your name? Are you a coordinator or natural?" Yzak started off. "Uhh, I'm an Independent Rebel Punk Rocker (IRPR), my name is Niki a.k.a Jak, and I'm not so sure about the last one, but I think I'm a natural, again, not so sure." I say. "So, where exactly did you come from?" Nicol asked sweetly. "Um, my house." I say. "No, I mean where is your house, do you live in Plants, Earth, ORB, where?" he asks again. "Oh, uh, Earth, North America to be exact." I say –smartly-. The boys glance at each other and then Dearka asks, "How old are you?" "14, and proud of it!" I say proudly, he he. He grins and says, "So you wanna hang out later?" Yzak hit him and said, "Will you stop flirting with every girl you see! It's getting annoying!" I just giggle and think _Ooooo, Yzak's jealous! _

"So, are you in the Earth Alliance or are you with ORB?" Athrun asks me. "Neither, I'm a civilian." I tell him. "Oh, ok." He says and looks to Nicol, Yzak and Dearka are shouting at each other and I point and laugh at them until they stop. "Ok, well, we'll leave you here and go tell Captain Krueze this new information, and one of us will probably bring you food later." Nicol says and smiles sweetly, I can't help but smile and they leave.

"Oi, what have I gotten myself into, I must be high, but I don't do drugs, I think I had waaay too much sugar." I say to myself and then yell out, "PURPLE MONKEYS!" because I'm random like that. "I want some Ice Cream, and some Pepsi, and more candy." I say and start envisioning the sweets.

Suddenly, a siren goes off and a voice says: "ALL HANDS TO LEVEL ONE BATTLE STATIONS!" and I gasp. "OHMIBOB! (3)" I say. They're going into battle, _I HAVE TO SEE THIS!_ I think to myself and look to make sure no one's down where I am and slip through the bars. "He, he, I'm glad I'm skinny." I say and run cautiously up onto the main hallway where I see people running towards the hangar and control room. There are windows and I stare out them into the darkness of space where I see laser beam being shot and explosions going off as Gundams from the EA attack the ship.

"Whoa," I say to myself and see a familiar Gundam and my eyes go wide. _Kira? _I ask myself. I see Athrun launch onto the battlefield and confront Kira and I think I stopped breathing as I'm watching them. _I wonder what episode this is, hopefully it's not the one when Nicol dies, I didn't even get to talk to him properly _I think. I see the others depart and then feel someone approach me and I gasp as I see Rau himself standing right next to me.

"Beautiful, isn't it, young and old naturals and coordinators fighting against each other against the dark expanse of space?" he says mystically. "No, war is meaningless and amounts to nothing, I don't know why people fight for no apparent reason, it gives no joy." I say darkly. He chuckles, "And yet more than half the soldiers out there think the same thing, so do you think they are all stupid for fighting anyway?" he asks me. "No, the ones that know war is meaningless are probably only fighting to protect the ones they love, or fighting out of revenge for the ones they lost, like I said, war gives no joy except to those who have black, cold, hearts." I say.

Again he chuckles. "You sound a lot older than 14, the boys told me your name was Niki and that you're a civilian before they launched, is that the truth?" he asked me. "Yes, I don't know how I got here, or why," I told him and looked at him. He was a lot taller then I expected, then again, I'm extremely short for a 14 year old.

"Yes, I'm wondering the same thing, I'm also wondering if you know any of the boys, or anyone else out there." He said out of the blue. I hesitate, _How can I tell him that I know everyone because I watched the show? _I ask myself and then decide to just screw it and tell him anyway, it'll be funny to see what he does and says. "Well, actually, I know just about everyone because I watched everything on an anime show called Gundam Seed." I say smiling and look at him.

He turns to me sharply and I expect that his eyes are wide and his jaw is dropped. "What?" he asks. "Yeah, weird huh? Now do you believe that I came from another dimension through a Swirly Black Hole,….of DOOM?" I ask him. He nods his head "yes" and I smirk. _Ha, I'm good _I think.

"AND THE SQUIRRELS GO WILD!" I find myself running through the hallways, being chased by the boys of Zaft's elite force and screaming random things. It is the next day since I've been captured and the boys think I'm a psychotic maniac that came from their imaginations to haunt me, at least that's what I keep telling them, he he.

"Will you stop running and screaming weird things? This is getting annoying!" Yzak yells at me. "Oh go suck on a straw!(4)" I tell him, sticking my tongue out at him and howling with laughter as I continue to run from the coordinators _Wow, I'm actually outrunning them, YAY SHORT AND FAST ME! _I think but then I bump into something and with an "OOF!" I fall down, not completely, because Athrun who I bumped into caught me just in time and brought me back up.

He was nearly out a breath and looked angry yet amused. "Got ya." He said. "Darn, that was fun." I said and pouted. "Why did you start running and saying those weird things?" he asked me. "I told you! I'm a psychotic maniac from your imagination to haunt you! I'm supposed to do weird stuff like that!" I tell him. "Riiiight, we all know that's not true, even you, and are you bi-polar or something? Do you take medicine?" he asks me again. "Um, I don't think so," I say. Then the others catch up, panting for breath. "Dang! She's fast! Are you sure you're not a coordinator?" Dearka says and looks at me. "Uhh, I could be, I don't know! I came from a different dimension! I don't know what I am in this dimension!" I tell him.

Yzak rolls his eyes and says, "I think we should get one of the doctor's to examine her for brain damage." It is then that I go to my dark side and turn slowly to stare death glares at the unfortunate Yzak Joule. 'What did you say?" I ask through clenched teeth. Yzak smirks and says smugly, "I said that we should have one of the doctor's examine you for brain damage." I then yell and attack him, jumping on him and strangling him and punching him and other stuff like that when Athrun and Dearka yank me off, Athrun holding me in place and Dearka helping the furious Yzak up while Nicol looked stunned.

"Hmph! Be lucky I didn't kick you in the nuts, not that you have any." I say and walk away, leaving stunned boys and a very furious Yzak who comes after me. "What did you say little girl?" he spat. That was it, I twitched and turned sharply around and ran up to him and nailed him right in the balls, kicking with my strong right leg, hard enough to make him bend over and cough up blood, and then I knee him in the chin making him fall over. "Don't ever call me 'little girl' "I say darkly and turn on my heel and leave.

(**A/N: I feel like it so I'ma stop now, oh, and here's some info for ya:**

**Is the Zaft ship Athrun and the guys are on called the**_ Versailius_, **in the first war? I'm not sure.**

"**I'ma" is my way of saying "I'm gonna", just to let ya know.**

**OhmibobOh-My-Bob, instead of saying God since that would be taking the Lord's name in vain I say Bob, gosh, or ga and just combine it into one sentence, putting an I instead of y for my, don't ask, I just do it like that, if you want me to write it normal than fine.**

**And that line I got from #2 from Codename: Kids Next Door, he he, I love that line.**

**Well, I hope you guys liked the first chappy of my hellairously random fic of what would happen if I met the gang from the first war! And is that how you spell Rau's last name? I'm not sure because there's many different ways to spell it. (And yes I spelt "Chappy" and "Hellairious" that way for a reason….) Grrr, This thing is really pissing me off because it won't let me put the line thingy, grrrrr.**


	2. Chapter 2 of Randomness

**Chapter 2 of Randomness!**

**Disclaimer: Waaaa, I do not own! NOOOOOOO! (cries) Thanx for the reviews though!**

So I'm skipping down the hall with a baseball bat singing "I WANT CANDY!" when I see Yzak staring into space. "Whatcha doin'?" I ask him. "Looking into space." He said. "Why?" I ask and start to smirk. "Because it helps me think." He said, sounding a little irritated. "Why?" I ask again. He looked at me in annoyance and yelled, "GO AWAY!".

So I just shrugged and went to bother someone else.

I went into a room and found Dearka looking at a Playboy magazine and instantly yelled, "EWWW YOU PERV!" and he jolted up, stunned, and looked at me. "WHAT THE FREAK?" he yelled as well. "HOW DID YOU EVEN GET A PLAYBOY MAGAZINE?" I continue to yell. "I SNUCK IT ON WHEN WE BOARDED THE SHIP!" he also yelled again. "YOU'RE GROSS! DOES YZAK KNOW YOU HAVE A PLAYBOY MAGAZINE?" I yell and try to hide my laughter. "NO! AND WHY ARE WE YELLING?" He asks. I shrug and yell again, "BECAUSE YOU IS STUPID!" and run out, laughing so hard I almost cry. (Oh my gosh my computer is dumb, it told me that "You is stupid" was correct grammar! LMFAO! XD).

Then I bump into Athrun again. "Sheesh, Athy-kun, I keep bumping into you!" I say. "I heard yelling, what was that all about?" he asked. "Oh, nothing, Dearka was reading a Playboy magazine so I started yelling at him." I told him. Athrun's jaw dropped, "He got a Playboy magazine on here?" he asked me. "Yeah," I say, getting suspicious and curious at Athrun-kun's behavior. "OH MAN HE SUCKS! I WANNA LOOK AT IT!" He shouted and ran towards Dearka's room.

SYKE! That didn't happen.

"He's gonna be in a lot of trouble." Athrun said. "Hey, Athrun, you're smart, so tell me, why is the sky blue?" I say. "Uhh, because the blah blah blah (some sciency stuff said here) and the blah blah blah (more sciency stuff) blah blah blah." He finished. "Ok, um, I didn't understand a word you just said there, I always thought it was because God made it blue." Athrun sweat dropped, "Uh, that too, eh heh." He said. I stare at him and he stares at me until I say, "You should stay with Cagalli, she's really cool." And then walk off, leaving him confused yet relieved.

Then I finally come across Nicol-sama! "Nicol-san!" I say and jump on him, hugging him. "Uhh, hi there, Niki." He says and is confused on what to do so we are in an awkward position until I jump down. "Sorry, did I scare you? I was happy to see you." I explained. "Oh, it's ok." He said and smiled sweetly. "Ok, cool, you're so nice, how are your piano lessons coming?" I ask. "Good, even though I can't play the piano on the ship." He says.

"Yes, those darn penguins." I say. "Eh?" he asks. "The Polar Bears are sad because the penguins took their nuts and gave them to the flamingos." I say randomly to scare him. It worked. "Are you ok?" he asked and put his hand to my forehead. "Yep, I just wanted to scare you, he he!" I say and smile.

Then the siren goes off again and as he begins to run I stop him and ask, "Have Athrun and the Strike pilot been fighting lately, Athrun trying to get the pilot who is also a coordinator to join Zaft?" "Yeah, They're really going at it, but I have to stop them, friends shouldn't fight against each other like this." He said and turned to leave.

Knowing I was screwing up the whole story by saying this, I say it anyway, "Don't come between them, when they're mad at each other, and they fire at each other, please, don't go between them." "Why?" he asks, surprised that I was saying this. "Because on the show you die." I say and then cover my mouth. Oops.

He gasps and then nods, knowing that I wasn't lying and was actually serious. Then he runs towards the hangar and I ask myself if I should've told him.

The fight is over and Nicol comes back, I messed up the story, Nicol wasn't supposed to survive, and Kira damaged Athrun quite a bit, mad that he killed his friend Tolle. _DARN IT! I SCREWED UP! _I yell at myself as I go to bed. Sure enough, I wake up to the script-writer of Gundam Seed, looking very angry (I forgot his name). "Uh, hi," I say and gulp. "YOU RUINED MY STORY!" he yelled. "I'm sorry." I say. "Now you'll have to go through that day again and you can't tell Nicol he's gonna die!" he told me. I look down, sad, "Ok," I say and then wake up to reality, well, actually still in Gundam Seed reality.

I go through the day again, and this time just hug Nicol and say, "You're a very good person, Nicol, and I'm sorry you have to be in this war." Trying not to cry as I see him smile, kiss me on the cheek, and then run to his death.

That's when I start to be mad at Kira.

"Grrrrr." I growl as I sit there, watching as Kira and Athrun fight, fiercely angry at each other for killing their friends. Then I remember that Athrun almost kills Kira and get even angrier that I can't change it. "Oh well, it's his story, he can do what he wants." I say to myself.

**A/N: Ok, I'm gonna end this here because I fell like it and my computer is being screwy as always. For those who think this is "poorly written" as one reviewer said, you must remember that I'm writing this when I'm hyper and that this isn't some regular story fanfic, just some random stuff that happens when I talk to the people from Gundam Seed, and I'm gonna make a sequel with my peeps from DESTINY so BOOYA! Thanks for the good reviews though! **


	3. Chapter 3: Random Interviews

**Chapter 3 of Randomness: Random interviews**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own, sad face**

_He he he, this fic is now going to be completely random and shall make no sense at all! WAHAHA! crazy laugh and the nice men in white jackets puts another nice jacket on me and takes me away to the happy place "WEEEEEEE!"_

_1 minute later….._

I'm sitting in a room of DOOM and I have a couch in front of me while I am sitting in a chair, clipboard in hand.

"BRING IN THE FIRST VICTIM OF DOOM!" I say and Nicol gets thrown in. "NICOL-SAN! YOU'RE ALIVE!" I scream and hug him which almost suffocates him and then let go after his face turns blue.

"Ok, lay down on the couch and answer my annoyingly random questions!" I demand and he lies down on the comfortable looking couch.

"Ok, so why do bats play the maracas? I always thought they'd play something battier." I say.

"Huh?" Nicol says looking extremely confused.

"Never mind, next question, do you know that you're sexy?" I ask him.

"Uhhhhhh, I guess I didn't until just now, eh heh." He says and scratches the back of his head.

"Well, you are, I just wanna play with your sexy curly hair all day and I know others want to as well!" I say bluntly.

"Um, ok then." He sweat dropped and blushed.

"Ok, so why did you join Zaft? Why didn't you go to a piano school or something?" I ask.

"Well, all my friends joined Zaft, and I had to protect my fellow coordinators, I understood the cost." He said nobly.

I sniffle and wipe a tear away from my eye while saying, "That was beautiful." Then, "NEXT!" and he falls out of the couch of DOOM and into a Trap Door of DOOM as Athrun gets thrown in.

"ATHY-KUN!" I scream and hug him as well and then let go when his face is as blue as his hair.

"Um, hi, Niki." He says nervously.

"Ok, I already asked you why the sky was blue, but do you know why the grass is green?" I ask him after he sits on the couch.

"Well, blah, blah, blah science stuff said here, blah, blah, blah, blah more science stuff," he starts and I begin to fall asleep.

_1 hour later…_

"And that's why the grass is green!" he says and beams proudly. I wake up and say, "Oh, I thought it was because God made it green." And yet again he sweat drops.

"Ok, so, do you and Cagalli have any kids yet?" I ask him and my eyebrows go up and down.

"WHAT? NO! I JUST MET HER A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO!" he yells, stunned that I said that.

"Yeah, that's what I mean; everyone knows that SOMETHING happened on that island that the English dub didn't show!" I say.

He blushes. "No one's supposed to know about that." He says.

"Well too bad! Last question, do you know you're sexy?" I ask him.

He blushes again, "Well, um, no," but is cut off as I start laughing and say, "YEAH RIGHT! NEXT!" and he also falls off the couch of DOOM as KIRA-SAN! Is shoved in.

He looks at me and asks, "Who are you?"

I just stare at his sexiness, eyes wide, jaw dropped, but no drool because that's gross.

"Uhh, hello?" he asks and comes up to me.

"YOU'RE SO SEXY I LOVE YOU PLEASE MARRY ME AND HAVE MY KIDS!" I scream and jump on him and hug him very tightly.

He's very surprised and says with much effort, "Um, I don't know you, can you please let go of me and tell me who you are?"

I sigh and let go, saying, "Ok, ok, my name is Niki, or Niki-san, I fell out of a Swirly Black Hole of DOOM and fell on Athrun aboard their Zaft ship and so I became everyone's friend, but that was only 2 days ago, so I didn't get to meet you yet, BUT NOW I HAVE AND I REALIZE THAT YOU ARE WAY SEXIER IN PERSON THAN ON T.V! HA! IN YOUR FACE TARA!" I scream again.

He looks at me weirdly and says, "Ok, hi, Niki, I guess you somehow know me then?" he says.

"Of course! So, first random question, do you know that Fllay is manipulating you and doesn't really love you and secretly hates you because you're the Ultimate Coordinator?" I ask him without taking a breath.

He blinks. And then he blinks again. "No, I didn't know that." He says sadly.

I look sad, "Awww, don't be sad! I still love you! And so does Lacus-san!" I say and he brightens up.

"Why thank you." He says and smiles sweetly.

"You know what; I'm keeping you here the whole entire chapter of this fic because you're just so darn cute!" I say and he blushes.

"Ok, next question, are you secretly gay with Athrun-san?" I ask and cross my fingers.

His jaw drops and his eyes go wide as he says, "HOW DID YOU KNOW?"

Syke. That didn't happen.

His eyes go wide and his jaw drops as he says, "NO!" and I brush my forehead and say, "Whew! I'm so glad you're not!".

"Ok, last question; do you know you're sexy?" I ask and he (like the others) blushes and says, "No," and I say, "You guys are so modest! Of course you're sexy! Look at you! Why'd you think all the girls gave you those looks?"

He smiles sheepishly and says, "I thought they thought I was a nerd or geek or something."

I do the anime face-drop thing and then say, "Kira, just because you're extremely smart and you're the Ultimate Coordinator doesn't mean you're a dork, geek, nerd, etc!"

He again smiles sheepishly. "Ok, come sit by me as the next victim-I mean person-comes in." I say and he sits by me and I blush and so does he. He, he, he, HE'S MINE! ALL MINE! (Lol, j/k….NOT! WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

So who should strut in then Yzak himself as he sits on the couch of DOOM with that smug look on his face. We have a glare contest until Kira clears his throat and I say. "Yzak." And he says, "Niki."

"So, first question, have you ever heard the song 'You're so vain'?" I ask him.

"NO, I haven't." he says coolly.

"Then listen!" I say as I play the song, "You're so vain".

He twitches.

"That song is all about you! Or could you tell?" I say.

He grins and says, "Oh yes, everything's always about me, because I'm sassy, sexy, and sly!" I almost gag, the British hair cut and silver hair just doesn't do it for me I guess.

Kira looks at him weirdly and shakes his head.

"Yzak, you're nasty, why don't you go screw your boyfriend Dearka?" I say and he bolts out of the couch of DOOM and says, "WHAT?" and me and Kira laugh as he falls through the trap door of DOOM.

And then Dearka is thrown in ironically, and he has a Playboy magazine in his hands.

"Well hello, Dearka-san, we were just talking about you!" I say and he looks up.

"Really? Were you saying how sexy I am? Why don't we hang out tonight?" he says and wiggles his eyebrows up and down and I scoot closer to Kira.

"No thanks, Dearka-san, but first question, who do you love more, Milly, or Yzak?" I ask him.

"Milly of course!" he says.

Me and Kira look at each other like "Uh huh, suuure." And I say. "Right, just keep saying that Dearka, do you know that the Polar Bears are coming to get you?" I ask him.

"What? Where?" he shouts and looks around.

"They're coming out of the magazine! QUICK! THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW!" I say and he throws the Playboy Magazine out of the window and wipes his forehead.

Me and Kira start laughing again as he realizes what he just did and then jumped out the window.

"Ok, next, the awesome chicks of Gundam Seed!" I say as Cagalli comes in and we scream and hug each other. Kira looks very confused as I say, "Kira, meet your sister, Cagalli, meet your brother!" and they hug and then Cagalli sits down on the couch.

"So, what happened on that island with you and Athrun, Cags?" I ask.

She blushes. "I can't say, we swore we'd never tell." She said and winked.

"AHHHHHH!" I say and we both laugh. "I shall keep you captive as well because you are so awesome!" I say.

"Ok, now Cagalli, I'm not bi-sexual or anything, but do you know you're sexy?" I ask her.

She blushes again. "What? NO, I'm not sexy, I look like a guy!" she says.

"Not if you put a dress on!" I say and Kira blushes.

"OK, sit next to me so you and Kira can talk and help me interview people." I say and she sits on the other side of me.

"Ok, NEXT!" I say and Lacus comes in.

"LACUS-SAN!" all 3 of us say and we all try to hug her and she gets trampled by us and we pick her up saying sorry a bazillion times.

"So, how's the music business treating you?" I ask her when she sits down on the couch of DOOM.

"Good, I seem to have a lot of fans!" she says and smiles her cute smile.

"Good, you should because you're so sweet!" I tell her and Kira and Cagalli shake their heads enthusiastically a "yes".

"So, do you mind if I take Kira?" I say and she stops smiling.

"What do you mean?" she asks.

Kira blushes as I say, "Well, you 2 aren't that involved yet, and I love Kira, so can I kidnap him and keep him for a while?" I ask her and Cagalli laughs.

"Oh, no, I'm fine with that as long as you bring him back!" she says almost –threateningly- yet smiles her sweet smile.

"SWEET!" I say and hug Kira again.

"Ok, NEXT!" I say and Lacus steps down into the trap door of DOOM and Murrue comes in.

"MURRUE-SAN!" me and Kira say and hug her.

She sits on the couch of DOOM and I begin the random questions, "So, why'd you capture Kira and make him join the Earth Alliance?" I ask her.

She blushes and says, "Well, he was just so cute I couldn't help it, and he did really well on piloting the Strike!" she said and Kira's jaw dropped.

I nudged him and winked, saying, "See, I told you you're too hot to handle!" and Cagalli laughed again as Kira's face went red and Murrue laughed too.

"Ok, sooo, honestly, how do you feel about Mwu la Flaga?" I ask her and she blushes.

"Well, if you don't tell him I said so, I really love him, even though he's a goofy klutz, he's still so cute and adorable!" she confessed and I said, "I knew it!".

"Ok, so obviously you know that if you got it to flaunt it!" I say and she says, "Yep!" and we all laugh again.

"Ok, I must hurry up and interview the other people! So good luck!" I say and she also goes down the trap door of DOOM as Mwu La Flaga walks in.

"MWU-MWU-SAMA!" I say and jump on him and hug him.

Kira shakes his hand and then Mwu-san pulls him into a hug and ruffles his hair as Cagalli laughs.

"So, we were just talking to Murrue-san, and we know you love her, so what do you plan on doing to make her love you?" I ask and wink at Kira and Cagalli and they wink back.

"Well, by doing the impossible! You know me, always making the impossible possible!" He said and chuckled as we snicker, no really, we're all eating snicker candy bars, lol.

"So, obviously you know you're sexy!" I say and he beams and says, "Well of course!".

"So, is being a klutz natural or is it a sly move to get the ladies to think you're cute?" I ask.

He sighs and says, "It's natural."

I smile and say, "ME TOO! HIGH-FIVE!" and we high-five and I say again, "But we all think it's so cute!" and he blushes and smiles proudly.

"Hmm, I shall keep you too! Come, sit beside, uh, Kira!" I command and he sits next to Kira, we're all crammed onto my little chair but we don't care because life's unfair and oh how dare! I made a rhyme! OH YEEEAH! makes gangsta sign and laughs.

"NEXT!" I say and Fllay slut-walks in and squeals, "KIRA!" and goes to hug him but I stand up and say, "Fllay! How are you?" and she fake-smiles and says, "Good, I see Kira is here!" and I say, "Yes, but you can't hug him until I interview you." And she puts but sits on the couch of DOOM.

"Ok, first question, why are you manipulating Kira into thinking you love him when really you hate him because he's the Ultimate Coordinator?" I ask and she twitches.

"What? I'm not, I do love him." She says and tries to smile sweetly.

"Uh huh, sure, Fllay, I don't hate you but I think it's really mean to trick poor gullible Kira like this." I say sternly.

Kira makes the "Woe is me" puppy-dog face and me and Fllay almost fall out of our seats.

"So, do you eat bananas?" I asked her.

"Um, yeah, why?" she says and looks confused.

I gasp and say, "YOU LOVE PINK AND YELLOW! AHHHHH!" and I spas out because pink and yellow are my 2 least favorite colors. Then she falls down the Trap Door of DOOM and I and Cagalli laugh evilly.

**/A/N: Well, that's all folks! For now anyways, I have to leave soon so I won't be able to update in a few days, but don't worry! I shall get back to my stories soon! I just have to hurry up and post this one and I will continue it in the next chapter! Thank you to all who reviewed the last 2 chapters and thank you to all who will review this chapter! Peace out homies/**


	4. Chapter 4: Truth or Dare?

**Chapter 4: Truth or Dare?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own, the penguins stole my license (pouts). AND HERE WE GO WITH YET ANOTHER RANDOM EPISODE OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU TOOK THE HYPERACTIVE ME AND PUT ME IN THE SEED DIMENSION!**

So, on with the interviews I guess!

Since Fllay fell down the Trap Door of DOOM Sai was thrown in looking most unhappy.

He takes one look at Kira and then tries to tackle him to the ground.

"NO! BACK OFF FLLAY-LOVER!" I yell and push him onto my chair as Kira sweat drops and Cagalli laughs.

"OK, well, hello Sai how's the big mean ugly world of DOOM treating you?" I ask.

He still looks angry and then looks sad as he sighs and says, " Badly, I've lost the love of my life to the Ultimate Coordinator and no one likes me, and I can't get a job either." And hangs his head low.

"Awww, poor pathetic excuse for a nerd," I say and smile even though it was cruel.

He looks surprised and I continue. "Well, buddy, you just gotta stand back up and move on, Fllay never liked you and you need to get over it, also, if you weren't so stuck in your past you'd be able to get a job and move on with your future!" I tell him.

"I guess you're right, but is it too late to see a psychiatrist? I think I became Emo." He says.

Just then my cousin comes in and plays "I must be Emo" by Hollywood Undead and I finger dance to it as Kira, Cagalli, Mwu, and Sai look at me weirdly.

When it stops my cousin runs back out and I say, "What? It's the Emo song!" I say and smile.

They shake their heads and I say, "Ok, well, you're boring me, now take my advice or I'll kick you in the nuts!" I say and pull the lever and he falls down the Trap Door of DOOM.

"Ok, who should I torture next?" I ask.

"I think that's just about everyone." Kira said.

"Yeah, and I'm bored with interviewing people, LET'S PLAY TRUTH OR DARE!" I say and we all get on the floor in a circle.

"Ok, all of you know how to play Truth or Dare right?" I ask just to make sure.

They all nod their heads and I get a beer bottle from a drunken sailor and put it in the middle. Then I spin it and it lands on Kira.

I squeal and ask, "Truth or Dare?"

"Uhh, Truth?" he says cautiously.

I pout and say, "Ok, umm, why are you such a crybaby? That's the one thing I can't stand about you because you always cry!" I ask bluntly and he looks hurt.

Cagalli and Mwu stare at him until he finally cracks and says, "I'm emotional I guess, I can't help it," and almost actually starts to cry.

"Oh, ok, but please don't start to cry because then that'd make me feel bad!" I plead and he doesn't cry.

"Ok, spin the shiny bottle of DOOM!" I say and he spins the bottle and it lands on Cagalli.

"Truth or Dare, Cagalli?" he asks.

"Dare!" she says and smirks.

He thinks for a bit before he says, "I dare you to kiss Athrun!" and me and Mwu go "OHHH!" as Cagalli blushes but gives in.

"Ok, ok, but where is he?" she asks.

"Oh! Hold on!" I say and crawl over to the Trap Door of DOOM and lift the lid.

"I need Athrun!" I shout down and then after a minute he comes in through the door.

"Ok, we were playing Truth or Dare and Kira dared Cagalli to kiss you." I told him and he blushes and so does Cagalli.

"Uh, on the cheek?" they both ask and look to Kira who is now smirking evilly.

"No, on the lips!" he says and they anime face-drop as he laughs maniacally.

Me and Mwu look at each other scared and I hope Kira doesn't dare me!

They take a deep breath and Cagalli kisses Athrun on the lips, but instead of parting, they go at it! Next thing we all know they're making out on the floor.

"Uh, guys, you can stop now." Kira says and looks sick.

"Oh, ok." They say and sit up and Athrun sits next to Cagalli.

"Ok, Cagalli, your turn!" Kira says and Cagalli spins the bottle and it lands on me.

"Truth or Dare, Niki?" she asks and smirks.

"Dare baby 'cause I'm a Dare-Devil!" I say.

Cagalli thinks for a bit and then, as if a light bulb went off, she grins and says, "I dare you to make out with Kira!" and then me and him both anime face-drop as Mwu and Athrun howl with laughter.

Then I look at him and he shrugs so I tackle him and we start to make out.

_30 minutes later…_

The others left the room because 5 minutes into it me and Kira started ripping each other's clothes off and wouldn't listen to them. I started thinking, _Ha! In your face Fllay! I hope Lacus doesn't get mad at me…_and then I gulped.

Me and Kira are lying on the floor with a blanket over us with his arm around me and then I sit straight up and say, "OH SNAP!" and he says, "What?" and leans on his elbow.

"WE JUST HAD SEX! AND WE'RE NOT MARRIED! I'M GOING TO HELL!" I scream and fall backwards and start to cry with my hands covering my face.

"Hey, don't cry, it's ok, if you get pregnant I'll marry you and help you take care of it." He said trying to reassure me. (Sorry for all you Kira-lovers, just remember that this is all COMPLETELY RANDOM!).

I look at him and feel better and we hug.

"Hey, where's everyone else?" I ask after two minutes of hugging.

"Uhh," Kira says and we both sweat drop and hurry to put our clothes back on.

_10 minutes later…_

"OK, you guys can come back in now, sorry about that, eh heh." I say and me and Kira sweat drop again and smile.

"It's ok, me and Athrun just had sex in the hallway and poor Mwu had to go into a different room." Cagalli says and Mwu comes back and says, "Man, where's Murrue?" and we all laugh.

So, we're all sitting in our circle again and now we have Athrun with us.

"Ok, my turn!" I say and spin the bottle. It points to Mwu-san and I ask him, "Truth or dare?"

"Dare!" he says, so I start to think.

_5 minutes later…_

"LIGHTBULB!" I shout and then a wicked grin is on my face. "I dare you to bang your head against a frying pan!" I say.

They all look at me weirdly but then Mwu-Mwu-san shrugs and takes a frying pan and hits himself upside the head with it.

Then I start laughing maniacally and the others scoot away from me and then I start to pout and Kira puts his arm around me and I feel better.

Cagalli looks at Athrun and he wraps his arms around her too so we grin and wink at each other.

Mwu then, after recovering from the frying pan, looks sad and leaves to eat a scrambled egg at Waffle House.

"So, I'm bored now, WHO WANTS COOKIES?" I say and everyone looks hungry as I pull out some chocolate chip cookies all hot and fresh.

"TOO BAD! MINE!" I say and start devouring the cookies.

They all start to pout as well and I say, "FETCH!" and throw some cookies and Kira and Athrun end up fighting over them.

Then a crazy horse comes a gallopin' in and I feed it some sweet oats.

"WOOOO LET'S PARTY!" a drunk Murrue says as she bursts onto the scene.

**/ OK, I'm done with this chapter now, hope you found it randomly entertaining, sorry about the me and Kira stuff, I lost myself there, he he/**


	5. Chapter 5: Evil Rau

**Chapter 5: Evil Rau Le Crueze**

**Disclaimer: I.Do.Not.Own.Anything.Except.A.GSD.DVD.With.Episodes.6-10.So.Sad**

_Ok, I'm sorry it took me a while to update, but a lot has been going on so I'm doing it now! Let's see what crazy randomness I can stir up this time! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! And yes, I finally got the line thingys to work, yay!_

* * *

So, Athrun and Kira were fighting over my hot and fresh chocolate chip cookies while Cagalli watched them with a disgusted look on her face. Murrue came in all drunk (right after Mwu left too, can you imagine that? Eh Hehehehe) after a crazy horse came in and so here we are.

"Well then, this is quite weird, wanna go have some fun?" I ask Cagalli with a grin and she grins too and we leave the boys who had stopped fighting over the cookies and watch us leave.

"Hey, where are they going?" Kira asked Athrun while Murrue gets on my desk and does a little dance. Kira and Athrun are trying to ignore her and are just waiting for Mwu to show up and then they'll rush out the door.

"I don't know, but-," and Athrun got cut off by, who is it now? MWU-SAN! Of course, you knew that was coming!

So, Mwu-san comes in (after hearing Murrue singing and such) and says, "MURRUE! I'M COMING HONEY!" and tackles her on the desk and then Kira and Athrun run out with horrified and disgusted looks on their faces.

I and Cagalli start laughing, clutching our stomachs while our cheeks are going red. "That was great." I say. Kira and Athrun look mad and then I say hastily, "Well, come on then, let's go have fun and create massive mayhem and destruction! Doesn't that sound fun!?" and they give me weird looks (again) but decide to follow me because I'm already running away.

* * *

So, I'm running passed some Gundams when I stop at Kira's (but I don't exactly know that yet).

"Oooooo, pretty colors." I say as if I'm enchanted and touch Kira's Gundam.

As if on cue, Kira comes running up, followed by Athrun and then Cagalli, and stops next to me and says, "That's my Gundam, the Strike."

"Oh really? CAN I PILOT IT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!" I plead with him. He looks at Athrun and he shrugs and then Kira shrugs and then he lets me into the cockpit and I make fun of the name for a minute or two and then I get to PILOT THE STRIKE!!! YAY ME!!

"Now be careful, YIKES! I said be careful-HOLY CRAP IT'S ZAFT WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!" Kira screams as Yzak comes straight toward us looking mad and angry and, did I mention mad?

"Uh oh, Yzak! It's me! Don't shoot!" I yell at him and he smirks and says, "Who? I don't think I remember you," and then is about to shoot and I scream and put my hands over my head and Kira takes the controls and tries to get us away.

"Yzak! CUT THE CRAP!" we all hear Athrun suddenly yell and Yzak stops and looks confused yet angry and is like, "What are you doing here traitor!?"

"Ohhhhhh!" I go and Kira fights the urge to slap me.

"Why can't we all get along!?" Athrun yells. "Hey, that's my line!" I yell back. "No, it's my line!" Lacus says and everyone gets quiet and then a cricket chirps as we all stare at Lacus in a mobile suit.

"Uhhh, Merry Christmas!" she says and then flies away. Kira looks confused and I look even worse so we shrug and land back to wherever we were in the first place with Cagalli tapping her foot impatiently.

"You just had to save the day, huh Athrun?" she asks Athy-kun when he comes out of his cockpit. "He was going to kill Kira and Niki!" he said in his defense.

"Well yeah but I could have helped!" she said and everyone does an anime face-drop.

"Ok, well, is it just me or does anyone think that Lacus is acting weird?" Kira asks and we all shake our heads yes. "Ok, good, I thought I was going crazy there for a second." He said.

"Well, I'm bored now; let's go mess up more stuff!" I say and run away again before they could reply.

"Niki wait up!" Kira called after me and followed, with Cagalli and Athrun shaking their heads and rolling their eyes as they also followed.

So we're running and running and then I stumble upon the Zaft military base (literally, I fall over a cable from the base and land on my face…ow…)

"Niki! Are you ok?" Kira asked as he came running up to me.

"Uh, yeah, I just tripped over a cable coming from the Zaft military base." I reply and his eyes go wide as he sees the ginormous base before him.

Athrun and Cagalli came up shortly after and Athrun said, "Hey, it's the Zaft base, why are we here?" and Cagalli says, "Hey, it looks bigger than the ORB base." And I get up, brushing myself off and say, "Onward!" and run towards the base and they yell for me to come back because it's dangerous, but do I hear them? Nope!

So I'm running towards the Zaft base thinking I'd be welcome since I _did _come into the dimension on a _Zaft _ship and helped them fight (Somewhat) and then I hear shouts.

"Oro?" I say and then get tackled by…who? I look up into the eyes of… (Drum roll please)…. (Wait for it, wait for it)….DEARKA ETHLEMAN????

"EW YOU PERV GET OFF ME!!" I yell at him and push him off as he laughs, that is, until Yzak comes up behind him and punches him square in the head, then I start to laugh.

"What are you laughing at, foreigner?" he asks me and I say, "You, Mr. Temperamental!" and stick my tongue out at him. Then his face goes all red and he charges after me cursing and yelling in Japanese (which luckily I can't understand) and I squeak and run around all over the base with Zaft men staring at us weirdly.

* * *

Athrun, Cagalli, and Kira were watching the scene and Kira makes Athrun go down and help me, so he gets pushed "accidentally" down the little hill they were on and guess what? Lands right on top of me and Yzak right before Yzak was about to get me!

"Oof!" we all go and fall down, and guess who just happened to be on the bottom of this heavy dog-pile? Yep, me. "OI! Get off you guys are heavy!" I yell and Athrun (who was on top) scrambles off and Yzak rolls off and then goes after Athrun.

"Wait! Don't hurt Athy-kun!" I yell and run after them. Cagalli and Kira are shaking their heads and sighing as they see us all running around in circles as more and more Zaft members gather 'round to watch.

That is, until Rau Le Crueze (?) comes up and barks out, "WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!? ATHRUN ZALA AND YZAK JOULE, REPORT TO MY OFFICE, NOW! Oh and you too, girl." and storms off while we all look at each other as if we're going to die. Then the "This is all your fault" fight started between Athrun and Yzak (which Yzak started, of course) and I end up covering my ears on the way to Rau's office where he looks a bit angry.

"Now boys, and girl, what exactly was going on out there?" he asked in a calm tone.

"Well, I was just minding my own business when I see this crazy lunatic," Yzak begins, gesturing towards me, "Running toward the base and so Dearka decides to tackle her. I come over and punch him for his stupidity and perverted-ness and then chase after her to take her as prisoner, and right when I was about to get her Athrun decides to come out of hiding and jumps on top of me and so then I started chasing him after we got up because he's a traitor, and I guess this psychotic girl followed me." He continued.

"I didn't jump on you I was pushed down the little hill and happened to land on you because you were right where I was about to fall!" Athrun yelled at him. "And I'm not that crazy I just have ADHD!" I yell also and all three just look at me like "Uh huh, riiiight, whatever" and Rau looks to the boys and says, "Well, Athrun, I'll give you one more chance to stay with Zaft, or else you'll be our captive."

"Um, how did I become a traitor in the first place?" Athrun asks and there's a looooooong silence.

(Cricket, cricket)

"Because we said so, so now you're with Zaft again, end of discussion!" Rau says and then throws the 2 boys out and locks the door behind him as he comes back to his desk. I twitch and look at him weirdly and say, "Can I go now, since technically I don't belong to any organization?"

He, looks at me for an annoyingly long time and then says, "How would you like to join Zaft?" at first I think I'm just dreaming, but then I remember the past events and think _With everything that happened, I'll believe just about anything _and smile widely and squeal, "Really!? I'D LOVE TO JOIN ZAFT WHERE ALL THE COORDINATORS HATE THE NATURALS BECAUSE THE NATURALS HATE THE COORDINATORS FOR NO APPARENT REASON EXCEPT THEY'RE JUST JEALOUS!" and he looks confused and then brushes it off and says, "Good, you are now a member of Zaft, now we just have to steal the Strike Gundam back from the Earth Forces so you can pilot it." and smiles.

That's when I stop and say, "Uh, well, err," and he cuts me off by saying, "Why don't you do the job, you know the pilot, maybe you can trick him and steal it right from under his nose!"

Then I twiddle my thumbs and say, "Can't I just get a Skygrasper or a different Gundam?" and give him the pleading, "Pleeeeeeeaaase!" look (which is like the puppy dog look). But is he moved? No.

_Stupid evil maniacal masked man that has to be so EVIL! Baka ningen _I start to rant off in my mind as I storm out of his office with the orders to steal Kira's Gundam or be shot.

So, I'm walking back to where I left Cagalli and Kira and they ask, "What's wrong?" because they could tell I wasn't happy. "Well, stupid Rau Le Crueze made me a member of Zaft and then ordered me to steal Kira-san's Gundam or be shot." I tell them and they gasp.

* * *

**-Author's Note: WAHAHA! A CLIFFY! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, hopefully this was good, normal story-format will return after this chapter (or will it?) please review and tell me what you think, if it's about grammatical errors I don't want to hear it because I'll notice them when I re-read it! Thank you to all who reviewed before and to all who will review in advance! Also, can anyone tell me the correct way to spell Rau's last name??? I'M SO CONFUSED!!-**


	6. Chapter 6: AN & Last Monkey Mania

**When Purple Monkeys Attack!**

**The first Fanfiction written in the **_**Randomly Delicious Series**_

**Fandom: Gundam Seed**

**Author's Note:** This hasn't been updated in…(checks last update)…about five years, so let's face it: it'll never be updated again. I am officially stamping this story as **complete and ended**. I don't want to take it down, even though it…is bad even for a crack fic…simply because I like to reread it on here and others seem to enjoy it and understand that it is NOT meant to be taken seriously.

In accordance to the guidelines of , I will not simply make this chapter an author's note, but instead give you the last juicy piece of meat from this fic. Enjoy~

* * *

**Chapter 6: Last Monkey Mania**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Gundam Seed, the plot, nor the characters of the aforementioned anime. I also do not own "Why Can't We Be Friends?" by War. Hehehe, ironic wordplay is ironic.**

_Again, this is not meant to be taken seriously; this is a crack fic that I am purposefully writing in a way to be random, which means it's supposed to not make any sense at all, with occasional references to popular YouTube videos (pop references), for the service of providing humorous entertainment to the readers. If there is a way that I can improve this to be more humorous and less stupid, by all means please send me a private message with your ideas and commentaries. This ends the only sane writing contained within this chapter._

* * *

Mur. So now I'm sitting here wondering how to get out of the mess I'm currently in. Technically, since I'm not even from this dimension, I suppose I could squeeze out of it.

Like a lemon.

After all, when life hands you lemons…wait, why would life hand you lemons?

"What about lemons?" Kira asks with a confused look on his face.

"I was just pondering the deep philosophical question of why life would hand you lemons." I explain.

"Is that something else you just made up?" Cagalli asked.

"No, actually, that's just what people say where I'm from." I say and make this awkward face.

They look at me, wondering what to say next, as I keep holding the awkward face. My mouth is open and slanted to the side and my eyes are wide, like I just saw or smelled something horrible. Or like that one chick from The Grudge.

"Banana phone says what?" I say quickly after a long period of time.

"What?" they both reply.

"AHA! You are both banana phones! Kira, you can be the banana king, and Cagalli can be the banana queen." I tell them, handing out bananas.

"…"

"What?"

"All hands to level one battle stations!" the call goes out.

"Oh shizzlenitz." I say and snap my fingers.

"You ready to take on the Strike pilot?" Yzak asks as he saunters up to me.

I give him another awkward look, this time with my mouth closed and pinched to a thin line, and my eyes wide like I'm crazy…except I actually am.

"Right…" he replied and walked away.

"IT WORKS! JENNA MARBLES, YOU'RE A GENIUS!" I scream with my finger in the air.

As I stand there, frozen in place with my finger in the air and a huge grin on my face, the Zaft crew runs by, pausing to stare at me and wonder what I was doing this time.

"BOOGABOOGA!" I yell at one young lad that stares at me for too long. He squeaks and runs off. I think about chasing him to nom his brains—I mean apologize—but then decide against it.

I needed to figure out how to get out of my current situation and help end this war!

Although, brains do sound yummy right about now…

"Niki? Uh, hello? Are you okay? Why are you mumbling about brains?" Athrun asks me and I snap out of my zombie apocalypse mode.

"Oh don't worry, you have a while before you need to worry about…" I pause for dramatic effect and give him a queer look, "the Zombies." I say ominously.

He regards me warily for a moment, not sure what I was talking about nor how to respond, until I shake my head and shove my fist out to the side right as someone came rushing through down the narrow hallway.

"Right then, ONWARD!" I call and march forward.

"…Um…the hangars are the other way…" Athrun says from behind me.

I make an about-face (fancy talk for turning around) and march forward again. "I knew that. I was just testing you. Congratulations on passing the test! You should get a prize….hmm…prize…" I say and think out loud as I head toward the hangars.

He face-palms and sighs as he follows.

On my way I get another brilliant idea, a terribly brilliant idea, and begin to wonder if I'm turning into The Grinch…would be better than The Grudge…not much of a difference though…one steals Christmas, the other hides under the sink…I could fit under a sink…not sure if I could fly around, break into people's houses, and steal their presents on Christmas Eve though…Santa Clause might catch me and give me coal…I don't like coal…

"WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN..!" Athrun yells as he listens to my rambling.

"You've never heard of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas?" I ask him with a shocked expression.

"What is a Grinch and why did it steal Christmas? How can Christmas even be stolen? WHY AM I ASKING YOU THIS?" he exclaims and starts crying in a corner of the hallway.

My eyes widen as I stare at him and then pat him on the head. "It's okay Athrun…it's okay…"

Other Zaft soldiers look at us oddly as they pass by into the hangar.

"Hehehehe, you're like my personal emo kid…"

"Get up Athrun it's time to go! We're gonna kick some butt today!" Dearka says loudly and slaps Athrun on the back. Yzak is following behind him and we stare each other down as he passes. Then I start making goofy faces at him by wiggling my fingers over my head and sticking my tongue out. He starts doing the same as Rau le Creuset walks up behind him. I notice but say nothing as we continue to make faces at each other.

"Ahem. I see you are making faces at each other." Rau says and Yzak freezes with an "Oh shiz!" look on his face.

He turns slowly with a sheepish look and then points at me and shouts "SHE STARTED IT! IT'S ALL HER FAULT! MOMMY!"

"I don't care whose fault it was." Rau says with a serious look. "I'm just appalled that you didn't invite me to join! YOU'RE SO MEAN! WAAAA!" he cries and runs off.

"Say whaaaaa?" I ask and watch as he runs back to his office.

Yzak turns back to me with a look of DOOM as his fists clench and his eyes turn red and his mouth is in a snarl and his fingers twitch as if itching to wrap them around my neck and strangle the life out of me.

Actually, that's what he's doing and—

"Yzak! Quit strangling her! We were supposed to go into battle half an hour ago!" I hear as I suddenly open my eyes and realize I must have passed out.

"Well that wasn't nice." I say and tsk at him.

"I'll show you nice ya little—," he starts and shakes his fist but Dearka drags him away.

"We…should get going." Athrun says while standing beside me.

"Right…no more stalling…"

"Are you really going to attack Kira?" he suddenly asks me.

"Me? Of course not silly!" I say and skip off toward my Gundam…which randomly appeared so that I didn't have to use someone else's Gundam or Mobile Suit. How convenient!

"Lacus, you ready?" I ask as I enter the battlefield.

"Yep!" she replies when her face pops up on the screen, all smiling and pink. I try not to shudder at the brightness and smile back.

"Cagalli, you ready?" I ask as she pops up as well next to Lacus.

"Do I really have to?" she whines.

"Yes!" Lacus and I both yell at her and she shrinks in her chair.

"Okay." She squeaks.

"Is everybody else ready?" I ask and my screen is overrun by other faces so that I can't see in front of me.

"Yeah!" "Let's do it!" "Alright!" "PARRRRRRRTAAAAYYY!"

"No, that's after!"

"Oh…sorry…"

"I take it everyone is ready and in position. Alright folks, get ready for the biggest operation in the course of this war, which will thus end this war once and for all!" I say and then mumble under my breath "At least until the other one starts…I mean whaaaaaat?"

"What?" "Huh?" "Do you like tacos?"

"Yes, yes I do. And pancakes. And waffles. And French Toast!"

"YEAH TOAST!"

"He sounds enthusiastic…" I say.

"That was Kira." Cagalli tells me over the intercom.

"Oh…hehehehehe."

"Focus! Remember your mission!" Rau tells me as he appears and the other faces disappear.

"Oh, are you done crying in your office now?" I ask.

"Shut up! I'm still mad at you two for not letting me play, what am I, Rudolph?" he cries.

"Uhh, do you have a bright red nose?" I ask.

"No!" he says quickly and then pauses. "Well…I have a cold…and my nose is a bit red…"

"Then you're Rudolph! Lead the way Rudy! Santa needs to deliver those presents! Go on, mush!" I call and his Gundam takes off in a random direction.

"I MUST SAVE CHRISTMAS!" He shouts as he flies away from the battlefield.

Some of the soldiers stop and stare after him. "What did he just say?" "Is it Christmas already?" "Has anyone noticed that our Commander has gone crazy? Anyone? No? It's just me? Really? No one else notices this?" some guy said and his voice got higher with each question.

"Was that the Grinch?" Athrun asks.

"No you dunce, the Grinch tried to _steal_ Christmas, Rau is pretending to be Rudolph in order to _save_ Christmas because his nose is so bright and shiny that it can lead the way for the rest of the reindeer in Santa's sleigh!" I tell him.

"Huh?"

"Didn't the Grinch return the presents though at the end?" Cagalli says.

"Yes, but I have a markered-on-moustache, so your argument is invalid." I say while holding a finger above my lip with a black moustache on it that I drew with a marker.

"I'm so confused…" Athrun says and cries again.

"Awww…he's such a cute little emo kid…"

"So we should probably do this now while Rau is off saving Christmas, because soon he'll realize that it's July and then he won't be very happy…" Lacus tells me.

"Oh yeah! I almost forgot…" I say and everyone else face-palms.

I clear my throat. "Everyone ready? This is it…"

Everyone nods solemnly and suddenly half of the soldiers stop fighting. I take out a cassette (because my Gundam doesn't have a CD player) and stick it into the audio system, turning up the volume as giant speaking extend from my Gundam. I take the giant radio and hold it up over my head, and then…

"_Why can't we be friends?__Why can't we be friends?__Why can't we be friends?__Why can't we be friends?"_

"Is that…what I think it is?" Yzak asks.

"I LOVE THIS SONG!" Dearka screams and starts singing along…

…as do Cagalli, myself, Lacus, Kira, and all the others who were in on our little plan. Hehehe, devious, aren't we?

The song plays all the way through, and by the end everyone on the battlefield, in Mobile Suits or ships, listening in at Headquarters or other bases, the people watching on the TVs placed everywhere, those listening in on the radio and the space monkeys are all singing along and hugging, waving lighters and swaying together side by side.

And that…is how the First Bloody Valentine War ended.

"MUWAHAHA I'M AN ANGRY ANGRY SCIENTIST!" I yell afterward and there's an awkward silence.

Later on, both sides are sitting in a conference room, signing the Peace Treaty. Rau glares at me.

"I can't believe you made me save Christmas in July and then I missed the jam session! WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME?" he wails and runs off again.

I stick my tongue out after him.

After all is said and done, all the handshakes and milkshakes and boys in the yard leave, it is time for me to say goodbye.

The Swirly Black Hole of DOOM opens up in all its swirly doom-ness and I stand before all the friends (and frenemies) I made in this wonderful dimension of giant robots, test tube babies and genetic alterations…and space monkeys…

I wave and pout as everyone waves back and then start getting sucked into the Swirly Black Hole of DOOM.

"LOOKS LIKE TEAM ROCKET'S BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAAIIINNNN!" I shout my last random line as I disappear in the—well you know what it is!

Then I plop back down in my chair in front of my computer, staring at the last fanfiction I was reading before getting sucked in. I look to the clock and no time has passed.

"Awwww, it was just a dream! CURSE YOU SWIRLY BLACK HOLE OF DOOM! I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling monkeys!" I yell and shake my fist in the air with my eyes squeezed shut.

"Uh…whatcha doin'?" I hear an all-too-familiar but quite impossible voice say from behind me.

"Athy-kun?" I ask and turn to see the bluenette.

"You didn't think I'd let you just leave like that, did you?"

"Yeah, I owe you a good staring contest!" Yzak says and pops up from behind him.

"We did it! We ended the war with a song of peace and love and joy and—," Kira begins and gets hit in the head with a frying pan by Cagalli.

"That was getting annoying…" she says by way of explanation.

Suddenly I'm surrounded by all of the people from Gundam Seed, cramped in my house.

"Oh! Everyone close your eyes I have to cleeaaann!" I yell.

I jolt awake again and find myself staring at the computer screen.

"It was a dream…within a dream…I should stop watching Inception over and over and over and over and over—," I being but am cut off.

"STOP THAT! STOP IT! YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY!" Yzak screams and covers his ears, running around my house.

"Whaaaaaaa?" I ask and look all confused.

"AHA! Gotcha!" Yzak says and points a finger in my face."

"This has to be another dream…"

Or is it?

DUNN DUNN DUUUNN!

R.I.P Ryan Dunn.

**THE END**

* * *

**-Author's Note: Or is it? Just kidding, this is seriously the end. Thanks to all the loyal reviewers who kept up with my craziness! Thus endeth the first **_**Randomly Delicious**_** fanfic. Did I mention this was the end? No? Lemme say it then: NO MORE PURPLE MONKEYS FOR JU! I might do the sequel to this, Destiny, which will most likely involve some help from a friend of mine that I forced to watch Gundam Seed with me and corrupted into watching Gundam See Destiny, teehee. Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing. Be sure to read the other stories in my **_**Randomly Delicious**_** series as well, featuring the Inheritance Cycle, Twilight Saga, Yu Yu Hakusho, and Naruto! Please read and review, 'cause this is the last time you'll get to for this fic, why you may ask? 'CAUSE IT'S OVA! Not OVA as in the series, but OVA as in OVER. Oh, by the way, this fic is done. Yeah, totally, completely done. Yep…**

**(In case you haven't noticed I'm stalling so that I don't have to end this once and for all. Ahhh, the memories…)**

**If you have any questions about any of the references I squeezed in here (Jenna Marbles, Ryan Dunn, "Why Can't We Be Friends?" and the like) feel free to ask and I'll be happy to enrich your mind with knowledge! PEACE OUT!-**


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